Saturday, September 27, 2014

The Case of Tom Cruise V. Matthew McConaughey: Who is the Best Movie Lawyer?


The Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts Argument

Are you a fan of Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts? I'm a big fan. I appreciate their acting as well as their philanthropy. I like how they present themselves. 

But I’m baffled about this. Who is the best actress? I’m always on the hunt for the cream of the crop.

Even though I haven’t seen Gravity starring Sandra Bullock, I still believe she is the best in the world. Moreover, Sandra and Julia are 2 of the top 10 highest paid actresses. Bullock and Roberts have both won Academy Awards.

However, Sandra is the more perfect actress. I give her a 4.0 and Julia a 3.8. Sandra Bullock has an edge because of her diversity of roles.

If we’re strictly talking romances, Julia wins. But Bullock has proven she is the champion. Roberts and Bullock rank in my top 5 for best actresses.

Sandra took on more risks and challenges while Julia Roberts played it safe. Dare I say Julia leeched off Tom Hanks in Larry Crowne and Charlie Wilson’s War? Isn’t it obvious?

Here’s an analogy to put things in perspective for you: Tom Hanks is to Julia Roberts, what Tom Cruise is to Cameron Diaz. I have nothing against Cameron. I wrote about her.

The point is Sandra Bullock’s skills are superior to Julia Roberts right now. Five years ago this wasn’t the case. Julia Roberts was better then.

Who remembers Pretty Woman and Erin Brockovich? Don’t forget about The Blind Side. Imagine Julia and Sandra in the same movie.

At the end of the day, I put my money on Sandra Bullock. She is a hard worker who is consistent. And, she looks amazing at 50.

Tom Cruise V. Matthew McConaughey

I wonder why Cruise uses the shortened form of Thomas and why McConaughey doesn’t go by Matt. Do you know the answer? I ask because Matthew’s last name is long enough.

Just like Schwarzenegger, I “Googled,” and “Binged” his name for correct spelling. Let’s give him a nickname. How about Matt Mack?

Like his height, Tom Cruise’s name is short. You love Tom because he is a miniature Matthew. Matt is beloved for his taller stature. Anyway, they have many similarities.

Is it coincidental that these actors portray Hollywood’s finest lawyers? What if they starred in the same film? Picture this: (closed captioned) The Ultimate Lawyer Movie starring Matt McConaughey and Thomas Cruise. 

The Trailer Script

In The Ultimate Lawyer Movie Matt and Thomas are prestigious lawyers in a head to head battle. Both have distinguished law practices in Beverly Hills. Who will win in case of Cruise V. McConaughey? Written, Directed, and Produced BY: GURU JAY

I bet you that movie would gross $1 billion. Tom and Matthew are basically walking ATMs. Moreover, their fan bases span the whole globe.

They are two world heavyweight champions in the acting arenas. Matthew’s a southern boy who will seduce you with his charm. Tom’s charisma on a scale of 100 is 97.

The best movie lawyers eat charisma like cereal. George Clooney’s good. Have you seen Michael Clayton? Movie lawyers come in all types. District Attorneys are my favorite. (S/O Harvey Dent)

Of course, Tom is a top 10 actor. I don’t want to take away from his brilliance. But, why isn’t Matt on the money list? He’s won an Oscar but it seems the executives refuse to pay the piper. Let that be a lesson to actors who’d do anything for a trophy.

Lincoln Lawyer

McConaughey plays Mickey Haller, a criminal defense attorney, in Lincoln Lawyer. I’ve seen this movie twice. If you’re thinking about studying law, see this film first. You might change your mind either way.

Lawyer movies pose a real danger to America’s workforce. Everybody wants to go to law school after seeing the famous “You Can’t Handle The Truth” scene. Legal dramas such as Law & Order and Suits are also guilty of selling us pipe dreams. 40 million attorneys filing motions is the last thing we need.

Do all lawyers want to be doctors? Well, some attorneys call themselves doctors of law? Seriously, since lawyers sue hospitals, they’re all too familiar with the medical/financial benefits rewarded to brain, heart and plastic surgeons. What is more, it’s true that every doctor wants to be a trial lawyer.

Foot physicians (podiatrists) dine alongside dentists, vetenerians, optometrists, ear doctors and chiropractors at the millionaire’s club. Tom Cruise and Matthew McCanoughey inspire us to make millions while enjoying our passion.

A Few Good Men

A Few Good Men is perhaps the best courtroom drama ever. Ironically, only a few films can compete for top honors. A Few Good Men blurs the lines because it’s also a military movie.

Tom Cruise plays Judge Advocate Lieutenant Kaffee. Jack Nicholson is the infamous Colonel Jessup. Demi Moore also carries out her duties in the film. If you like courtroom dramas and army movies, then look up A Few Good Men.

John Girsham’s A Time to Kill borrows from To Kill a Mockingbird. It’s an updated version of Harper Lee’s classic. In the movie, Matthew McConaughey defends Samuel L. Jackson. The lead actress is none other than Sandra Bullock.

I respect McConaughey for his role choices. Matthew could have been a major action star on par with Bruce Willis. Instead he kept his art pure. Hence, he is an Oscar winner.

You’d think that action movies give Tom Cruise a clear advantage. To the contrary, drama and action are totally different genres. Additionally, Tom and Matt have unique styles.

Tom is aggressive and Matthew’s more assertive. Tom is the guy yelling in the courtroom. Matthew uses tactics to trap and confuse his witnesses.

Your Honor, I object

Have you noticed in movies and TV, the trial lawyer always stands and says, “Your Honor, I object?” Sometimes the witness says, “I plead the fifth.”


In the case of Tom Cruise V. Matthew McConaughey ...After carefully weighing the evidence (movie clips, filmographies, and opinions) Judge Guru Jay has a verdict…I rule in favor of Mr. McConaughey.

I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1! Like us on Facebook.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Dancing with the Washed-Up Has-Beens


Dancing with the Washed-Up Has-Beens

On Thursday, I watched Dancing with the Stars (DWTS). You know I didn’t see a lot of stars. All I saw were washed-up has-beens.

Why am I so harsh? According to Dancing with the Stars everybody is a celebrity. If this is the case, who wants to be famous?

I want to be a millionaire instead.

DWTS functions like Twitter. As a consequence, the show is in decline. It’s losing because it serves a minority. The best shows cater to the majority.

Do you watch DWTS religiously? Do you see what I see? What do you like about the imported TV show?

Don’t get me wrong. The show is watchable. There were many high points and bright moments during the premiere.

However, the hosts are capable of providing better entertainment. Why do we need two hosts anyway? Tom Bergeron can host the show all by himself.

Also, I don’t mind the judges individually but they lack teamwork. It’s about DWTS first, and the hosts and judges second. Listen up, DWTS

I got four words for you: Randy, Paula, Simon and Ryan. The reason American Idol broke records is because of the show’s chemistry. It’s too bad they couldn’t recuperate.

American Idol wasted millions. They treated folks like Frankenstein. When Paula Abdul left, the ratings never recovered.


Will the audience stop watching? I’m afraid that DWTS could go the American Idol way. But, I believe DWTS will revamp and retool.

Don’t mess with a winning formula. If it works, leave it alone. If it doesn’t work, fix it.

It’s clear that Dancing with the Stars is getting old. My recommendation is to fire Erin Andrews. And, Keep Bergeron to stay credible.

Why on earth is Andrews on DWTS? Erin should go back to ESPN and hone her craft. 

Right now DWTS is inauthentic.

Here’s an idea: give Erin her own show. Let her do whatever she wants. But preserve her brand.

Fortunately, it’s not too late. DWTS can still become the default TV show. As long as they serve families, Dancing with the Stars will maintain its relevancy.

I call it the Kim Kardashian rippling effect. Anyone who associates with her is a celebrity. And, anyone who associates with her associates is a celebrity. And so on…

This is the 19th season of DWTS. Why is this Alfonso Ribeiro’s first appearance? 

I point the finger at the producers.

I expected a shorter show. Two hours is one hour too long for a talent show. What’s your opinion as a fan?

In spite of the shenanigans, I give Monday’s premiere a B +, because season 19 has a tasty mix of talent. The casting crew created an interesting selection.

Weeks To Come

In the weeks to come, look for drama. All TV shows experience a rough patch. Who’s going to lose their cool this time?

Julianne Hough is out to prove herself. Some say she’s living in her brother Derek’s shadow. Many celebs feel she is unqualified.

Len Goodman is an accomplished dancer. He doesn’t like Julianne. Body language speaks volumes. Len takes this stuff seriously.

Applaud Dancing with the Stars for making this tweak. They recognized Julianne Hough’s potential as a judge. She is a triple threat celeb who adds value.

But, is Julianne qualified in the eyes of Carrie Ann and Bruno? They won’t admit their distaste for her publicly. But, you’re smart enough to see through it.

Casting Tommy Chong was a good decision. But Lolo Jones sucked. In fact, Lolo got booed.

She came out the gate with a negative attitude. Why? Lolo is her own worst enemy.

Bruno likened Tavis Smiley to a nifty fifty. Yeah right! Watch the stiff Smiley get voted off next week.

I’ve seen a dramatic shift this season. They’re showcasing top talent. And it’s not unusual!

Save the last dance for Carlton. He’s the obvious front- runner. Jimmy Kimmel picked him to win before the first show aired.

Still watch out for the Duck Dynasty daughter. She’s young and limber. You know the youngest contestants have an edge.

Although the mature stars look sharp now, can they stay in shape for the long haul? How many times did dancers withdraw from competition because of broken backs?

It’s nice seeing celebrities do splits and flips. But I don’t want anybody to get hurt. Don’t try to be 25, when you’re really 75.

Which brings me to my question: Should we institute an age limit? The answer is a resounding no.

Instead impose strict physical policies. Stars should meet a certain fitness level. This is not the Biggest Loser. This is Dancing With the Stars, people!

On The Judges

And the last thing we need is to lose a star due to political correctness (no one wants to offend senior citizens). The AARP is powerful. Case in point, you don’t see an 80 year-old NASCAR driver. Why can’t our oldest celebrities judge?

Midway through the season, these judges will click. DWTS doesn’t have to break the bank in order to put on a worthy show. That’s why the franchise continues to succeed.

How does Fox justify giving “judges” 8 figure salaries? I’ll shut-up because I may receive an offer. Seriously though, it’s wasteful spending. My grandpa said, “don’t waste money.”

How many mouths can we feed with $10 million? All I am saying is to take responsibility for your actions as well as your inactivity. If they pay you $20 million, that’s fine. But make sure you don’t behave foolishly.


I’m a firm believer that it takes money to make money. Dancing with the Stars may be too conservative for its own good. I’m against wasteful spending but you must invest.

If you don’t invest your cash, you’re wasting money. Next season, the show will celebrate its 20th anniversary. So I suspect they’re saving up for a spectacular special event.

No show will survive without viewers. Don’t stop watching Dancing with the Stars. And, don’t stop believin'!

I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1! Like me on Facebook

Attribution- Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Elite Latino Comedians: The Best in Show Biz


Long before the YouTube dislike button was created, comedians were booed off stage. Like my dad says: “it’s a hard job but somebody’s got to do it.” Comics constantly receive disrespect.

It’s time to show some respect. This is my tribute to Elite Latino Comedians. Here are the Best in Show Biz…

Cheech Marin

The great Cheech Marin heavily influenced George Lopez. Heck, Lopez stole his theme music. Harold & Kumar pays tribute to Cheech & Chong.

Stoner flicks are a huge success in Hollywood. With the right mix of talent, these comedies will make millions at the box office. Also, consider the merchandising effect.

Cheech can live off his name. Celebrities love to say, “Do you know who I am?” If you’re a celebrity, you can survive from all the free stuff coming your way.

Cheech Marin crowned himself as the Original Latin King of Comedy. He is a V.I.P. in the comedy world. Many of Dave Chappelle’s marijuana jokes come from Cheech.

Paul Rodriguez                     

I respect Paul Rodriguez’s work ethic. He has played the game for over 30 years. The veteran is still going strong.

I like how Rodriguez has reinvented himself. He’s a serious voice actor. He lent his voice to the El Americano movie debuting in 2015.

And he stands for something, which is rare these days. Nowadays Hollywood stars walk a tightrope. Celebrities are afraid to offend a population segment.

I’ve never seen a comedian connect with an audience as much as Paul Rodriguez. He’s really just a standup guy. Paul will make you laugh until you cry tears of ecstasy. 

Joey Medina

Is Joey Medina the funniest Puerto Rican on Earth? I think so. He does tricks on stage like an exotic dancer.

Also, Medina is an Original Latin King of Comedy. Only Cheech Marin and George Lopez outrank him. The multi-talented comedian is a former professional boxer.

He does standup like a fighter against the ropes. Joey unleashes unstoppable uppercuts. His jokes are jabs to your stomach. You’ll laugh like a hyena when he’s done.

The comedian shuns the spotlight. He doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. But, he’s all over YouTube.

Medina doesn’t masquerade. What you see is what you get. Poof! He disappears and reappears on Navidad.

It’s not a coincidence that celebrities come back to do a Christmas and New Year’s Eve special. Why? Well, what time of year do you spend the most of your money?

Carlos Mencia

Carlos Mencia is the greatest Honduran comedian of all time. The confrontational Latino comic gives it his everything. Because of his original style, Mencia is one of a kind. He delivers his package like the UPS man.

Controversy surrounds Carlos. He liberally uses racial slurs. Sometimes he goes to the point of no return.

Still, he has a golden name. Mencia is larger than life. Have you seen his Comedy Central show?

Mind of Mencia helped elevate the comic to superstar status. TV is a terrific platform to showcase your talent. Mencia took over where Chappelle’s Show left off…His comedy is similar to Dave Chappelle’s in many ways.

George Lopez

I am a long time George Lopez fan. His sitcom displays how hard work pays off in the long run. The George Lopez Show ran for six seasons on ABC.

Although Lopez Tonight only lasted two seasons, it was still a fun ride. Loyal Lopez fans had a blast! Even his haters chuckled during commercials.

Jokes are like recipes. Sometimes you have to let the jokes marinate. The main thing is to get more hits than misses. Otherwise, they’ll boo you off stage.

You see George pushes buttons and that’s great. Any smart comic knows that controversy sells tickets. The difference is Lopez understands his audience like Warren Buffett understands his shareholders.

I see Lopez as a consummate professional. At his standup shows he looks like a CEO at a board meeting. He addresses the crowd like his neighbors.

He means a lot to the Latino community. Lopez doesn’t back away from controversy. He runs toward it like a fireman to a burning house.

Louis C.K.

Louis C.K. tells jokes like George Carlin. He has an effortless style and great material. After a hard day’s work, I recommend Louie.

To say Louis C.K. is an elite Latino comedian is an understatement. He’s high up on my list. To me he is one of the greatest comedians of all time.

The Mexican American comedian is in fact an elitist despite his down-to-earth observations. He’s not out of touch, but he is in the “in-crowd.”  If you have a Forbes page you are definitely elite.

Louis C.K. specializes in dark comedy and satire. He looks like Conan O’Brien’s long lost brother. His empty head of red hair and goatee is his trademark.

I just started watching Louie every week. I enjoy his realistic perspective. When you want a break from political correctness, Louie is the best choice.

Louis C.K is a modern day Mark Twain. He writes with a deliberate purpose. He wants you to think like him.

Gabriel Iglesias

Gabriel Iglesias has a unique flow and word choice. Not only is he an elite Latino comedian, he is in my top 20. As Gabriel’s popularity grows, so does his bank account.

I call him the ‘Original Latin Prince of Comedy.’ How can you argue with success? He sells tickets like clockwork.

Gabriel is everywhere. That’s not a fat joke. You see he is on stage, on TV shows and in movies. 
Entertainers should explore the whole Hollywood landscape. Don’t ever limit yourself to just one mode.

Branch off, expand and get bigger.

Mark my words…Gabriel is a top ten comedian in 5 years. As long as he steers clear of drug addiction and alcoholism he’ll be the Lenny Bruce of this generation.

Elite is not a bad word. F*ck is. Comedy is the one place where we frown upon political correctness. So in the words of Eddie Murphy, ‘Fuck it.’

Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Friday, September 5, 2014

Top 33 Triple Threat And Multi-Talented Celebrities + Video


Celebrities need thick skin in order to survive the tough entertainment world. First of all, they are monitored non-stop. Did you know celebrities have more privacy in prisons than in their own homes? That’s why Justin Bieber doesn’t mind NOT passing go (directly to jail).

When celebs walk outside TMZ starts flashing cameras and asking questions. These days the Paparazzi cross lines with yellow tapes. They’re ruthless, I tell you!

But still, there’s not a celebrity on earth that would trade places with the average Joe. Planet Hollywood is a place where stars shine and fans collect autographs. Rehab is about the only place a celebrity can hide.

For the most part, celebrities are treated like royalty. And, they receive endless royalty checks. ‘Jerry Seinfeld’ makes millions from his syndicated sitcom.

For one thing, most celebs are multimillionaires. In fact, Oprah Winfrey and Steven Spielberg are billionaires. Whatever the case, celebrities teach you to persevere.

This blog post pays tribute to the top triple threat and multi-talented celebrities.

Zac Efron

All the ladies like Zac Efron. The young actor finds a way to make money. He can act, sing, dance and model. He’s a combination of Charlie Sheen and Channing Tatum.

Vanessa Hudgens

The vivacious Vanessa Hudgens is Zac Efron’s Best Friend Forever (BFF). She has a bright future. See Hottest HollywoodStarlets.

Ryan Gosling

Ryan Gosling has the whole world ahead of him. He is underpaid but sooner or later his stock will skyrocket. Read Ryan Is the New Robert for full story.

Wayne Brady

There’s a story of a man named Wayne Brady. His many talents are unfortunately not fully appreciated. What can’t he do? He’s a game show host, actor, singer and comedian.

Julianne Hough

Julianne Hough is a woman with many talents. We know her best from Dancing With the Stars. But the beauty also earns a living from her country music and acting.

Miley Cyrus                

Hannah Montana cemented Miley Cyrus’s career as an actress and singer. Now, the ‘grownup’ Miley has taken on dance. She has transformed into a twerking princess.

Janet Jackson

The soft-spoken Janet Jackson is dynamic. Pull up her YouTube Channel and watch the talented artist go to work. Miley may have stolen a few of Jackson’s moves.

Selena Gomez

Selena Gomez made a small fortune from her Disney days. Now, the starlet can sit back and watch her money grow. These Nickelodeon kids are set for life.

Hugh Jackman

Hugh Jackman (Logan/Wolverine) is very versatile. The Australian actor also finds work as a producer, singer, and dancer. He has hosted the Tony’s four times. You can’t be a one-trick pony.

Neil Patrick Harris

The three-named actor Neil Patrick Harris is a triple threat. He's the V.I.P. of Harold & Kumar. He’s not a doctor he just plays one on TV. I just discovered that he directs, produces and sings too. 

Kate Hudson

Kate Hudson comes from a multi-talented family. Her mother is Goldie Hawn. And her father is actor, comedian, and musician Bill Hudson. It’s safe to say entertainment runs in her family. She is a fine actress. I wish her all the best in her endeavors.

Christina Applegate

Married With Children made Christina Applegate famous. Of course, we know her best as Kelly Bundy. But she is also a terrific dancer and stage performer.

Kevin Bacon

Kevin Bacon is a screenwriter’s actor. He brings his characters to life. The Hollywood star does voice acting as well. He also has a rock band called Bacon Brothers.

Justin Timberlake

Justin Timberlake owns MySpace. The savvy businessman also sings and acts. Do you doubt Timberlake’s many talents? If you do, you’re jealous. Every celebrity has his haters.

Jamie Foxx

Jamie Foxx has his own category. The multi-talented Academy Award winner has had an exceptional career. He is a legitimate force in film, comedy and music.

John Travolta

Movie star John Travolta is one of Hollywood’s biggest triple threats. What don't you know about John? You know he acts, sings and dances. But, Travolta produces, writes, and flies a jet as well.

Amy Adams

Does the name Amy Adams ring a bell? Amy earns her paycheck the hard way. Let’s give her a round of applause.

Renee Zellweger

Let’s give Renee Zellweger a standing ovation. The creative celebrity is well known for her work as an actress. But, she also produces and lends her voice to animated films.


The multi-talented Madonna is used to adjectives before her name. The businesswoman has brokered several key deals over the years. See blog post 10 Celebrities With the Most 2 Lose!

Meryl Streep

Meryl Streep is the director’s actress. She does everything right. Meryl’s name will live on forever. Are you familiar with her theatrical performances? Streep is highly trained.

Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez has a special place on my website. Check out my past blog posts about JLO. Jennifer Lopez can do no wrong as an actress, singer, dancer and entrepreneur.

Christopher Walken

Christopher Walken is one of my all time favorite actors. He has a distinct voice. I am surprised he hasn’t done any voice acting. Moreover, he is smooth. Walken writes screenplays and directs.

Sarah Jessica Parker

The three-named actress Sarah Jessica Parker is the wife of a triple threat. Sarah owes Sex and the City for her success. It is time for Sarah to get serious. Take on more challenging roles.

Steve Harvey

Where do I start with comedian Steve Harvey? He has his own talk show and is the host of Family Feud. He’s an author and a disc jockey. Harvey really does it all.

Catherine Zeta-Jones

Lately, Catherine Zeta-Jones has been busy. 2013 was one of her best years. Overall, she’s had a nice career.


Usher introduced the world to Justin Bieber. The one name star has continued his domination of music. Also, he’s playing Sugar Ray Leonard in the upcoming film Hands of Stone.

Demi Lovato

Demi Lovato found success on the Disney Channel. Is this a coincidence? No, there is actually a famous formula. Check Out How to Be Famous in Seven Steps.

Queen Latifah

Queen Latifah acts, sings, models and raps. She even has a daytime talk show. I hope she stays on the air.

Daniel Day Lewis

Daniel Day Lewis is arguably the best actor ever. No one else can compare. What is more, he is great on stage.

Sean Combs

Sean Combs goes by many names. Call him Diddy. He is a record producer, rapper, actor, dancer and businessman.

Matthew Broderick

Matthew Broderick married Sarah Jessica Parker in 1997. The star shunned the limelight in favor of peace and quiet. Don’t call the successful actor a comeback story. 

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow acts, sings and writes. She is Beyoncé’s close friend. It makes perfect sense. You see she can teach Beyoncé how to act better. And, Beyoncé can teach Gwyneth how to sing.


Beyoncé defines entertainment. The triple threat entertainer is a great singer, sensational dancer and a delightful actress. Beyoncé is a clear first choice.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting. I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Attribution: All Photos from Wikimedia Commons