Thursday, October 30, 2014

Why Madonna Must Answer to Lady Gaga And the Texas State of Music


Sex Symbol

Madonna deserves respect. She is an iconic sex symbol. But, I enjoy listening to Lady Gaga’s songs more than the material girl’s music.

I don’t intend to diminish Madonna’s legacy. I just want to highlight Lady Gaga’s achievements. Lady Gaga is the new Madonna. But let’s not forget how Madonna blazed the trail for today's singers.

Do you think Lady Gaga cares more about the music or the sex? When you’re on her level, money is not a real concern. Lady Gaga can make a living just by licensing her name. This is a fair question.

I ask this question because I like to know what so-called sex symbols think. Take Scarlett Johansson for example. Does acting come before beauty?

Look at Lady Gaga. She is a perfect specimen  created in a laboratory. Her Body Mass Index has to be lower than 15. Does she eat at all?

Can Lady Gaga dethrone Madonna? Yes. Give Gaga some time and she’ll rise to number 1. I rank Lady Gaga 2nd right behind Beyoncé.

In 5 years, Madonna must answer to Lady Gaga. The telephone will ring and Gaga is on the line. Will Madonna accept the call? If not, Beyoncé is about to bust her out of jail.

Gaga’s music registers 9.9 on the Richter scale. Go for cover because when the lady rocks it’s an earthquake.

If I’m having a party Lady Gaga gets the first invitation. Then I’ll invite Miley Cyrus, Rihanna and Katy Perry. It’s all a matter of preferences.

I prefer high quality entertainment. In the words of James Brown “we’re gonna have a funky good time.” I like Lady Gaga because she’s comfortable in her own skin.

She’ll wear her birthday suit anywhere. She digs deep down in her soul when she performs. Can you name a better performer?

Would you rather go to a Lady Gaga or Katy Perry concert? I am a Katy Cat but I am also a Big Little Monster. Katy stays in the safe zone.

Gaga takes you on an adventure. Now, Katy is the perfect wedding singer. I can imagine my future wife walking down the isle while Katy Perry hits a high note. But, make no mistake Lady Gaga will perform at my bachelor party.

Wonder Woman

There’s TV Politics and there’s Music Politics too. Lady Gaga appeals to an adult audience. So she makes riskier music than Perry.

If Katy Perry is rated PG 13, Lady Gaga is rated R. Okay, I’m not saying Katy gets a free pass. I just think Gaga gets sacked a lot.

I didn’t understand the Tony Bennett affair at first. Now, it makes perfect sense. Gaga is his Wonder Woman and Bennett is her Batman.

Lady Gaga Sings the Blues

Tony Bennett rescued Lady Gaga. Tony took her under his wing in the nick of time. Bennett provided Gaga with a safety net.

Nobody embodies greatness better than Lady Gaga. Gaga became famous out of the blue. She committed herself to music like a soldier.

She’s highly trained and disciplined. Who outranks her? Just think about her devotion.

She loves entertaining. What is more, Gaga engages her fan base in real life as well as on social media. She has the cutest poker face.

You never know when she’s bluffing. Lady Gaga can do what she wants with her mind. I’ve seen concerts where she dominates the stage. She’ll make the stage her boyfriend.

She doesn’t have to sing Alejandro for you to get the point. Gaga plays to your senses. She is a sex symbol. Moreover, she can deal with fame. Check out the Top 20 Celebrity Quotes.

As a celebrity, you have to face pressure. There’s no way around this. You’re expected to do your part. Many celebrities avoid the spotlight. Lady Gaga embraces the attention.

Grabbing attention is not a bad thing. Would we really care about a ‘twerkless’ Miley Cyrus? Entertainment is meant to entice us.

Who wants to see a mediocre or boring performance? We want to see the best. So, what does it take? The answer is sacrifice.

Lady Gaga is outspoken about sacrificing her love life in order to build her career. That’s how she befriended Tony Bennett. Tony saved her from being a one hit wonder. Now, Gaga soars the charts like Wonder Woman.

I just want Lady Gaga to be healthy. Check out how to be healthy like Katy Perry. You see Lady Gaga appears to live on the edge.

I hope she gets centered. She can take a page from Tony Bennett’s playbook, and sing songs until she’s 90. Learn from Madonna.

Music moves fast. So, it’s surprising when a celebrity like Lady Gaga stops to smell the roses. Why can’t the Paparazzi leave her alone? She has the right to privacy.

Lady Gaga doesn’t owe us an album every two years. She should take a break and experiment a little. She should make a new sound.

Lady Gaga has an untouchable voice. At times she sounds like a DJ scratching a record. She can do what she wants with her vocal cords.

Can you imagine a Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars duet? Let’s make it happen. I’ll write the song.

Texas State of Music

Welcome to the Texas state of music. Music is not dead. In actuality, music is better than ever. It’s not fair to compare today’s sound with the 60s and 70s.

Bob Seger has got it completely wrong. I like that old time rock and roll too. But, I also like this new time rock and roll... Lady Gaga's got the same soul!

I got three words: Beyoncé, Shakira and Rihanna. How can you throw their music under the bus? You can’t write off legendary talent.

Bruno Mars is in another world. Just the Way You Are, Grenade, and the Lazy Song combine for over 1.5 Billion YouTube views. So don’t believe the hype. The haters will hate.

Now, I’m not naive. I’m not saying every song is a hit. I understand there are misses.

All I am saying is don’t dismiss hit makers. YouTube is largely popular, in part, due to VEVO. Who listens to music on YouTube?

In this new age, Lady Gaga pushes the limits. I admire her bravery and courage.

Katy built a powerhouse because Gaga took a little break. Katy has evolved to number 1.

I previously ranked Gaga higher than Katy. However, right now Katy tops Gaga. But watch out: Lady Gaga will reclaim her position. Thank you for reading. I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

All Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Monday, October 20, 2014

TV Politics: Scandal And House of Cards


Do you study political science? Political science is the ninth most popular college major. Even if you declared a major in something else, I bet you will take Introduction to Government. 

TV Politics captures the reality of political science. And, I’m not talking about a reality TV show with Glenn Beck, Russ Limbaugh, or Don Imus. There’s a dark side to politics no one will talk about until now...

Politics is dirty. Are your hands clean? As a politician, your private life is made public like Facebook stock. Be careful. And, tread lightly.

Einstein was partially correct when he said, “politics is more difficult than physics." I’ve taken both politics and physics. Political classes are way easier than physics. But, politicians have a much harder job.

Political junkies get their fixes from shows like Scandal and House of Cards. I call this trend TV Politics. TV + politics = high ratings. Are you a TV Politics fan?


Scandal shows no signs of slowing down. Momentum is on Kerry Washington’s side. She plays Olivia Pope like a fiddle. ABC is lucky to have her.

Kerry Washington no longer has to prove herself. She’s worthy of our recognition. Now she needs to put some skin in the game.

Why isn’t Kerry Washington a producer? Kevin Spacey is an executive producer of House of Cards? But the most powerful woman on TV is an employee rather than an employer.

We know she can do it! Kerry can do whatever she wants. She is one of the best Black actresses.

Her beauty complements her talent. She is a work of art from head to toe. What is more, her character is a positive image for young Black females.

Hats off to the Scandal writers. They literally keep you on the edge of your seat. They find a way to twist the plot at the ideal moment.

Kerry carries this show. That’s her job as Olivia Pope. We like Scandal so much, because there is finally a woman in charge who gives orders.

She is an elite actress. But, also give credit to her teammates. Let’s put the cast on blast!

Guillermo Diaz plays hired gun Huck. He has ties to the CIA. Don’t get in his way.

He is pivotal to the plot. No one can replace him. Do you want to see more Latinos on TV?

Tony Goldwyn plays President Fitzgerald Grant, III. He’s having a lengthy affair with Olivia Pope. All the hoopla stems from the 'scandal.'

Scandal is exceeding expectations. It wouldn’t surprise me if this show lasted 10 seasons. You don’t kill a cash cow and serve  steak. Milk that sucker dry.

House of Cards

Why are you ashamed of your House of Cards addiction? Please don’t feel guilty about binge-watching House of Cards. You’re supposed to be addicted. Everyone is obsessed over it.

This is not CNN! This is Netflix…Only subscribers are allowed to enter the House of Cards. 

Leave political correctness at the doorstep under the welcome mat. Kevin Spacey plays President Francis Underwood, who has enough skeletons in his closet to fill a cemetery. I wish I was joking.

President Frank is the scariest Halloween costume. Spacey rules his spacious world. The dictator sparks fear in Anderson Cooper, Bill O’Reilly and Chris Matthews. He makes Dick Cheney look like a Pope. 

House of Cards produces premium content. A good TV show needs a big budget nowadays. There’s a lot of competition so you have to find an edge and grind.

Even so, House of Cards is the number 1 political thriller. It addresses tough issues. 

Machiavellians really love House.

Season 3 will debut February 2015. It’s highly anticipated because no one knows what to expect. Just when we warmed up to Zoe, they killed her off.

Well, you can count on Spacey making a scene. Do you remember Remy Martin? I predict they will kill off this character too. Can a good thing last?

The question is why do significant characters die on House of Cards. My theory is Netflix doesn’t want to foot the bill for these actors. So, you’re watching underpaid actors on screen with overpriced Kevin.

It’s a sneaky tactic to save money in the long run. If I’m wrong, give us a better explanation. It doesn’t make sense to write off great roles.

You should aim to build. But, their objective is to destroy. I disagree with the writers. That’s my one pet peeve of an otherwise sensational storyline. Maybe, they’re sending a message: 'everybody dies.'

Pope Vs. President

Who is more powerful, Pope or Underwood? What if they met at a neutral location? Who would sit at the head of the table? Can you trust either of them?

Olivia Pope is very pleasing to our eyes. She’s supportive and dependable. You can call Kerry Washington when you have a problem.

Now, President Underwood is America’s worst nightmare.He loves power more than money, sex, and life itself. I don’t trust him at all.

Spacey smiles in your face like the O’Jays song. He’s a backstabber with an agenda bigger than the Big Dipper. Underwood has a doctorate in deception.

Pope and President have one thing in common. Both of them are equally manipulative. They make up rules in the middle of a chess match.

The striking difference is Spacey doesn’t give you a rematch. You get one chance. Screw up and you’re screwed.

If I had to watch one show I’d choose Scandal. House of Cards gets dull after a while. Scandal is a roller coaster ride. It grabs and holds your attention.

ABC pays the Scandal staff top dollar. Netflix is more frugal with their cash. What’s wrong with spending more if it makes the show more entertaining? 

As an accountant, I know a few things about budgeting. The bottom line is profit. Obviously, you don’t want to spend more than you have.

But I live by my motto “nothing ventured nothing gained.” And “No risk. No reward.”

In the Internet age we live in, TV Politics is popular because we need to connect offline as well as online. 20 years ago, we used to say put the remote away. Now, we say put down that Tablet or Smart Phone.

Like my Facebook. Follow my Twitter. I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Thank Heaven I Don’t Have Ebola. I Got Saturday Night Live Fever!


Thank Heaven I Don’t Have Ebola. I Got Saturday Night Fever!

Do you watch Saturday Night Live (SNL)? Can you believe this is the 40th year? What if SNL lasted to the 100th season?

SNL is the best live TV show. There are many copycats but make no mistake; there is only one Saturday Night Live. Creator Lorne Michaels built a respectable show for the ages.

Regardless of your preferences, you must respect SNL. It functions like a fraternity. Feature players are pledges; and Kenan Thompson is President of the Greek Council. Vanessa Bayer is Vice President.

SNL is in a rebuilding process. The show needs to remember their writers are only as good as their actors. Stop making casting changes. Stick to the script. And perform to the tee.

If Tiger Woods can come to a ruin, so can Saturday Night Live. Empires do collapse. And SNL is the Imperial Majesty of sketch comedy.

I’m a long time SNL fan. I won’t give up on the show because of one bad year. It’s like football. The team can stage a comeback next season.

Saturday Night Live discovers top triple threat talents. It’s not unusual for cast members to sing, dance, and play guitar or piano.

Did you know late night hosts Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers started on SNL? Conan O’Brien served as a writer. The show takes good care of their alumni.

Let’s talk about Andy Samberg, Tina Fey, and Amy Poehler. All three former repertory players received their own TV showsWhat if they were never on SNL?

Alumni Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy and Adam Sandler have had successful movie careers. Lorne Michaels is a miner, because Saturday Night Live finds diamonds in the rough. And Bobby Moynihan is a jeweler.

Jay Pharaoh owns a pawnshop. His Uncle Tim Meadows helps manage the shady business. While sister Shasheer Zamata trades in her jewels for dough, her brother Chris Rock explains why as a black man he loves diamond chains so much.

Alec Baldwin Vs. Steve Martin

If you watch SNL regularly, you are aware of the rivalry between Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin. Baldwin is winning. Overall, he has hosted SNL 16 times compared to Martin’s 15.

Because Baldwin had a major role on 30 Rock, Saturday Night Live gave him the opportunity to break the record. What if Steve got a part on Parks & Recreation? SNL could call that shot.

Pull up the archives. Look at the evolution of these actors. You can literally see Hollywood stars transform before your very eyes.

Saturday Night is a critical moment in a celebrity’s career. Without it, Steve and Alec would have normal star power. Now, they shine bright like diamonds.  

I tip my hat off to Steve Martin. Although Alec is ‘winning’, Martin’s performances are more valuable because he is a real thorough comedian. The cast can relax with Martin behind the wheel.

Christopher Walken

I can’t wait for Christopher Walken to take the stage. When he presents, bad things happen in a good way. He is a good old fashion actor.

SNL should book the multi-talented star one more time. Whether Broadway or Hollywood, no one delivers better than Walken. Wherever Walken’s walking, it is prime real estate baby!

I love it when former repertory players come back to host. In 2008, Tina Fey returned to SNL in style. Who could forget Tina’s impersonation of Sarah Palin? I believe 2008 was the best year in history.

Looking back, Saturday Night Live made more millionaires than Forbes Celebrity. SNL Alumni and Funny or Die Co-Founder Will Ferrell is set for life. He doesn’t have to worry at all.

He is the best George W. Bush impersonator. His movies are crazier than a Bessie bug. And he’s funnier than 7.124 billion people.

And so, I nominate Will Ferrell President of World Wide Web Comedy.

It seems that Saturday Night Live runs the whole industry. They have their hands in everything. They’re the opposite of TMZ.

Stars hate paparazzi like TMZ; but they love Saturday Night in New York like a refugee.

You’re not a celebrity, until you appear on SNL. If you haven’t been on the show, sit down and talk to your agent. Seriously, SNL is where stars shine brightest. It’s a magical experience.

Fred Armisen is among my all time favorites. He excels at sketch comedy. He is exceptional.

He impersonated President Obama perfectly. I wish Fred had stayed a few more seasons. He could have taught Jay Pharaoh his secrets. 

By the way, Jay is coming along nicely.

Maya Rudolph should have stayed a little longer. Although she had a long and prosperous 7 years, she was still highly productive. She left way too early.

It was hard replacing Maya Rudolph. Smart, beautiful and funny is an unlikely combination.

Maya is still a triple threat.

Rudolph paved the way for Nasim Pedrad. Nasim took shortcuts on the road to stardom because of Maya’s past work. Even though SNL welcomes competition, there isn’t any animosity within the show. It’s all one big family.

Niches = Riches

Money is in niches. Through the years SNL cultivated invaluable niches in holidays and politics. Around Thanksgiving, Christmas and U.S. election cycles the best episodes air.

Old cast members like to popup on Christmas. It’s their way of saying I’m gifted. Dressed in sweaters they sing I Wish It Was Christmas Today. It’s funny to see Jimmy Fallon back on Saturday night.

Get well soon Tracy Morgan.

Who remembers Horatio Sanz's Saddam Hussein impersonations? Saturday Night lives on the edge. Sometimes SNL crosses the line.

And, that’s the beauty of the First Amendment. Free speech is protected. Just don’t yell ‘I got Ebola on an airplane.’

I love it when musicians host and sing the same night. That’s what you call getting your money’s worth. Justin Timberlake does it best.

Who watches Saturday Night Live? Do you want to join my fan club? Thank heaven I don’t have Ebola. I got Saturday Night fever!

Join me on Facebook. I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Attribution- Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Saturday, October 4, 2014

TV Turn-Ons, Movie Eye Candy And Best Personalities


Are you turning on the TV or getting turned on by the TV? Are you eating candy at the movies; or are you watching movie eye candy? If Channing Tatum goes shirtless one more time, I’ll go bananas.

Times are-a changing. In the words of Lois from Family Guy “It seems today all we see is violence in movies and sex on TV.” How true! Shout Out to Seth MacFarlane.

Men are sexualized the most in movies. Women are objectified more often on television. I challenge you to surf through the channels. What do you see?

TV Turn-Ons

Keeping Up With the Kardashians is nothing without Kim. She’s the main attraction. Although Kendall Jenner is a star, Reality TV revolves around Kim Kardashian.

Kim Kardashian is a major turn-on to millions. You might not watch her show but you look at her Facebook and Instagram. It’s hard to miss her.

Recently, Kardashian’s brand expanded into apps. Do you play the Kardashian video game? Is it fun?

Reality star and model Joanna Krupa turns heads clockwise and counter clockwise. Do you have the time? Also, do you watch the Real Housewives?

The beautiful Kerry Washington plays Olivia Pope to perfection on Scandal. She is one of my favorites. Read 19 Best Black and Latina Actresses.

Anna Paquin sucks the blood out of a turnip. The True Blood star plays Sookie Stackhouse all the way. When I’m not keeping up with the Kardashians, I keep up with Anna. She is a true TV turn-on at heart.

Park and Recreation relies on Rashida Jones. Although Amy Poehler is the lead, Jones carries that show with her ‘girl next door’ sex appeal. Her passion makes Park and Recreation a really great show to watch.

HBO, Showtime, Cinemax and Starz display the sexiest TV turn-ons and movie eye candy. You have the privilege of viewing premium content. Do you watch Game of Thrones? Why are all the girls naked? Once again, women are objectified the most on TV.

Movie Eye Candy

Where is Channing Tatum’s competition? Tatum’s celebrity skyrocketed in the last three years. He’s the #1 movie eye candy.

Why do you like Channing so much? He is an excellent actor with perfect sex appeal. Now imagine him with perfect acting skills.

He’s destined to be the most compensated actor of all time. You watch. Tatum is Clooney and Pitt combined.

Upcoming actors, pay close attention to Channing’s career. The man does action, comedy, and romance. Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself?

Dwayne Johnson epitomizes movie eye candy. He is this generation’s Sylvester Stallone. Have you seen G.I. Joe, Pain & Gain and Hercules?

He sets the bar high. He works hard to be the best. Johnson’s body is a lucrative asset.

The Rock’s fan base is solid as a rock. As long as he stays in shape, he’ll stay on top. Don’t worry, fans. He’ll lift weights forever.

Movie eye candy Ryan Reynolds is definitely in the top 5. Can you believe he’s been acting since 1993? He still looks young.

You should see The Proposal. Sparks fly between Reynolds and Sandra Bullock. They should get married.

True or False, Ryan goes shirtless in every movie. Would you rather eat candy or watch Reynolds flex his muscles? Don’t answer. I already know.

Mark Wahlberg takes excellent care of his body. As soon as he wakes up, he’s in the gym. I'm convinced that he sleeps at Planet Fitness.

Mark Wahlberg has carefully molded a bad boy image. But he still got those good vibrations. I just want Marky Mark to come out of retirement, and rap a song with Eminem and Vanilla Ice!

It just dawned on me that Marshall Mathers stole Wahlberg’s rap name (M.M.) Well, Mark stole parts of the Beach Boys' song. So it’s a wash.

Best Personalities

Oprah Winfrey, or should I say ‘O’ like Madam Secretary Hillary Clinton, is the best personality ever. Oprah has helped millions realize their full potential including her OWN partner Tyler Perry. As a writer, my lifelong goal is to chat with Ms. Winfrey over a ‘grande’ cup of Starbucks. I’d foot the bill.

I read The Secret because of Oprah’s talk show. And the book sparked new ideas in me. Celebrities from all walks of life admire, respect and love Oprah.

Some go as far as to call her goddess. I won’t go that far. But she is the queen.

I’m old enough to recall Ellen DeGeneres’s standup days. Her legs are strong because she’s a standup gal. She seems to be a genuine and kind person.

Ellen personifies graciousness, humility, and charity. Actions speak louder than words. It’s a little bit cliché but the Ellen Show is a breath of fresh air everyday.

Even though I haven’t watched it in a while, I’m still her supporter. She has all the qualities a good host needs. Ellen is a top talk show host and a great personality.

He is the guy behind the scenes of the #1 TV turn-on Kim Kardashian. He is our generation’s Regis Philbin. Ryan Seacrest is a household name.

He loves to talk. Does he talk too much? Maybe.

But he brings the excitement. His legendary work ethic is unmatched. Whenever he talks we listen because he makes it sound more important than it is.

In full disclosure I haven’t watch American Idol since its peak run in 2010. Who remembers Pants On the Ground? And yet, it’s funny how things connect.

Ellen DeGeneres served as a judge the same year Simon Cowell left. Ryan remains the one constant. In fact, the Seacrest brand is stronger than American Idol. And, you ring in the New Year with Ryan.

Jimmy Fallon has fans on the moon now. The self-proclaimed astrophysicist discovered how to be everywhere. It’s virtually impossible to browse your favorite website without encountering Jimmy Fallon.  

He’s a versatile entertainer who is even loved by his haters. He falls somewhere between the most interesting man in the world and the cookie monster. I don’t know why his comedic stunts are so infectious. They just are…

Please like my Facebook page. I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Attribution- Photos By: Wikimedia Commons