Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Why George Lopez Is Champion


Who are your five favorite standup comedians? George Lopez makes my list because he is a distinguished gentleman like Eddie Murphy. It’s not always a bad thing when the gray hair starts showing. The best comedians are experienced on stage and in life too.

This doesn’t mean soldiers need to take a bullet or need to get fired at and take cover. Funny people get my drift. I’m a long time George Lopez fan.

You see there is a lesson in Lopez’s story. That’s why Lopez is a focal point in Elite Latino Comedians: Best in Show Biz. Remember elite isn’t a bad word but fuck is. All I am saying is there is nothing wrong with doing your best. This Hollywood star keeps shining especially in dark times.

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

That’s when you know you’re on top. The tabloids can write anything and it doesn’t faze you. George Lopez tells the truth. He takes risks. For instance, Spare Parts was a film that could have failed. Instead this movie showcased his skills as a dramatic actor much like Reign Over Me did for Adam Sandler.

What is more, the Latino, Asian, and African American communities respect Lopez for championing important causes. I highly recommend watching Spare Parts- a true story about a Latino high school beating MIT in an underwater robotics tournament. It is thought provoking.

Plus the movie is funny. How can you not laugh with George Lopez? If Steve Harvey is the #1 Answer, then George Lopez is Numero Uno.

The Mexican American actor has came a long way to make it big. He got here by staying focused. So the moral of the story is to don’t lose focus and keep trying. George got knocked down on the ground, but he got back up. And that’s what champions do. 

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Saturday, May 28, 2016

X-Men Apocalypse Movie Review SPOILER ALERT


Apocalypse awakens from a deep sleep ready to usher into the world a new age. However, Professor X, Mystique, and their X-Men will fight for the good of humanity and themselves. Apocalypse handpicks 4 mutants to take over and rule the world.

I give the X-Men: Apocalypse movie 4 stars. That’s 1 star for every horseman (as advertised). The movie lives up to the buildup. Plus the new characters make a grand entrance. It’s funny seeing how Cyclops can’t control his powers and inadvertently destroys Professor X’s grandfather tree. This film receives high marks on the plot and screenwriting.


My favorite part had to be Hugh Jackman’s exit as Wolverine. How do you replace someone that great? Maybe, you don’t.

Moreover, the new Storm did a good job replacing Halle Berry. Give her time and she’ll become a big star. Hollywood should have more actresses like this. Give a nod to Phoenix too. She delivered more than expected as well.

Apocalypse was the very first mutant in the comic book. The scenes in this movie are like a comic book come alive. Comic book collectors can sit down with amateurs and enjoy this movie together.

There are a lot of conflicts within conflicts. Will Maury tell Magneto “You are the father,” about Quicksilver? Can Professor X get Apocalypse out of his head?

X-Men Apocalypse fathoms the idea of the world ending. Apocalypse attempts to rule the planet by absorbing every power. Hence, he disarms all nations of their nuclear weapons. Then, with the unwilling help of Professor X, he’s able to control every person.

While under mind control his words become orders obeyed by all. The only one who can really disobey is Professor X, because his power supersedes even Apocalypse’s own, he just doesn’t know it yet.

Overall, I love X-Men:Apocalypse. I might go see it a second and third time. It’s deserving of a B+ grade. They always set the bar high, do they?

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

15 Minutes of Adam Sandler


Great comedians like Adam Sandler make not so great movies sometimes. The tradeoff is that Adam Sandler makes really great movies here and there. No one doubts his funniness. Watch 15 minutes of Adam Sandler when having a hard time laughing.

The remedy for boredom is comedy. Adam Sandler could be your CVS pharmacist. He dispenses his jokes like medicine.

What is more, few comedians make great actors. Tell me what beats Adam Sandler in rare form. Reign Over Me remains one of my favorite movies because it showcases all of the comedic actor’s gifts.

Are you looking forward to the Do-Over? This Netflix original starring Sandler and David Spade is about two friends faking their deaths and taking on new identities. Watch the 3 minute trailer and try not to crack a smile.

Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Showbiz can be tough, especially being funny in the business. Sometimes the joke is on you. What do you do when your world caves in and the chips are stacked against you?

Adam Sandler received a lot of heat for Ridiculous Six. How did he respond? In life, you must be smart about your reactions. Everyone won’t see it your way.

Adam Sandler serves as a perfect example of how to handle criticism. Check out who’s better Adam Sandler Vs. Jerry Seinfeld.

Nowadays Hollywood wields great power. Celebrities must be careful because the media will go after them for one wrong move. The margin of error is slim.

Sandler put on an awesome performance in Pixels. Adam plus Kevin James is a winning combination. You see Sandler scores touchdowns, when most just get extra points. Who remembers the Longest Yard and the Waterboy?

Adam also can score a hole in one like Happy Gilmore. Most people want 15 minutes of fame. I want 15 minutes of Adam Sandler.

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Who’s Funnier Than Zach Galifianakis and Steve Carell?


Check out Between Two Ferns. You see as a pair Zach Galifianakis and Steve Carell could take over the comedy world. 10 years from now you’ll play that clip and still laugh from your gut. That’s the best kind of laughter.

Zach Galifianakis and Steve Carell answer the question: what’s so funny? Zach has mastered the art of self-deprecation. And Steve Carell’s persona epitomizes a narcissist. That’s why together they are 1 dangerous force.

Can you picture a comedy tour with these comedians? Zach Galifianakis drums up funny beats for a living. Who’s funnier than him?

Maybe, Steve Carell can make you laugh a little more. Both brands command attention. You see comedy and marketing go hand and hand.

I feel that Carell is the best actor between the two ferns. However, Galifianakis is a funnier comedian. You’ll sure have a ball watching them go to town. For what it’s worth, Steve Carell made the Office. And Zach Galifianakis made the Hangover. 

Zach’s standup experience prepares him perfectly for movies. Although he isn’t the best, he is a good actor. Galifianakis delivers a great performance in Birdman. Also, in Are You Here, he and Owen Wilson demonstrate their entertainment value.

Hollywood stars are jealous of Zach and Steve because their names draw enormous crowds. For the record, Evan Almighty should be recognized as a classic, despite Jim Carrey not reprising his role. Plus Hangover Part III was unfairly criticized. Remember that the original tends to be better than sequels.

Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

I think Ricky Gervais is proud of Steve Carell in Office. And I believe Will Ferrell appreciates Zach’s offerings to Funny or Die. I don’t like Dan In Real Life but Bored to Death is excellent work. Also, 40 Year-Old Virgin is one of the funniest movies ever. In a nutshell, who’s funnier than Zach Galifianakis and Steve Carell?

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Chuck Berry Is Greater Than An Icon


What is Rock and Roll without Chuck Berry? Chuck Berry is greater than an icon. The legend was born in St. Louis Missouri.

Moreover, his sounds are heard like Cardinals and Blue Jays all around the world. He sings like a Robin and dances like a Cuckoo Bird. Plus he plays the guitar like an Ostrich.

Looking back at his accomplishments it’s easy to get lost for words. How do you honor the most honorable? Some say Chuck Berry became King of Rock and Roll.

What’s your favorite Chuck Berry song? Whether Johnny B. Goode or Maybellene, Berry’s hits are homeruns, triples, and doubles. Berry’s singles are #1s in any era. Plus the celebrity knows how to make people have fun at concerts. 
Photos: Public Domain

With songs like Ding-a-ling, people admire his sense of humor. When I think about Rock music, I think about Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, Metallica, the Beatles, and Chuck Berry. At an uneasy time in history, Berry brought black and white together. He was born in 1926. He lived through the riots and uproar.

Moreover, Berry believes in his music. That’s why millions believe in him. I’ve listened to Chuck Berry on Vinyl records. It’s not the same on CD. Something about a record spinning entices the ears as well as the eyes. What beats the Chuck Berry sound?

Right now Rock desperately demands another Chuck Berry. Let’s honor the one and only today. Appreciate all living legends because they deserve acknowledgement while they are still here. Recognize their value and contributions. 

In closing, I love math. That’s proof Americans do love math. A sign I used often is (>) greater than. Well in case I ever receive an autograph from Mr. Berry, I want him to sign > after his signature because Chuck Berry is greater than an icon.

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Friday, May 20, 2016

Why Michelle Rodriguez Is a Rough Diamond


Cinematographers dream about filming Michelle Rodriguez. Her mindboggling beauty is elevated on the silver screen. Everybody from the makeup room to the boardroom enjoys working with Rodriguez.

You will hardly find a better supporting actress. When in doubt, directors call Michelle into audition. The Lost actress is the puzzle’s missing piece. 

Of course she has a hot body and hot body of work like Sofia Vergara. However, those eyes capture your full attention. Michelle Rodriguez’s eyes tell a story of their own. Who remembers her gorgeous gaze toward Vin Diesel in Furious 7?

I watched countless hours of Michelle’s movies this month. I can’t get enough of her. I saw at least 3 Lost episodes (the ones where she takes over). Plus I saw the Latina’s Battle: Los Angeles and SWAT. You can always count on Michelle Rodriguez to bring out her best.

Previously, I wrote a story called Who’s the Best? Michelle Rodriguez Vs. Eva Mendes. Check it out. If you’re anything like me, you want to know everything about Rodriguez. 

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

You see showbiz has all shapes, sizes, and colors. That’s the beauty of it all. With so many choices, there’s no reason a movie should be boring. Entertainment business professionals must not make excuses for poor films. Also, give the supporting actresses more credit for their works.

According to Box Office Mojo, Michelle’s movies have grossed $2.1 billion domestically. What is more, Rodriguez is a worldwide box office attraction. Entertainment Weekly named her “the $5 billion Woman” in 2013. 2 years before Furious 7 became the fastest film to a billion dollars.

Outstanding supporting actress Michelle Rodriguez is a jewel too. You see she’s not a diamond in the rough. Michelle Rodriguez is a rough diamond.

A diamond in the rough is an unexpected treasure. A rough diamond is expected glory. Michelle Rodriguez meets great expectations.

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Why There Will Only Be One Whoopi!


Few compare to the likes of Whoopi Goldberg. Right now Whoopi engages with more than 1.6 million Facebook fans. Plus she leads about 1.1 million Twitter followers.

There won’t be another Whoopi. There is only one Sister Act with legendary status. Show sista some respect. And show Whoopi Goldberg the money. She’s accumulated both fame and fortune throughout her prestigious career.

Weeks ago I watched Whoop’s Jumpin’ Jack Flash. The Hollywood star displayed why she is the cream of the crop. Who owns Eddie on DVD and VHS? Don’t ask me why I have 2 copies on different systems. Maybe, my love for Whoopi Goldberg runs deep.

Before Kelly Ripa was a household name, Whoopi was your woman. Who watches the View only because of Whoopi’s presence? I love it when she says welcome to The View. I enjoy the view too.

I got around to watching it today. It’s amazing how far she’s came. Check out Whoopi Goldberg in a pool full of milk. The Dairy Queen may be the best in TV and Showbiz. 

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

She’s been entertaining the world for years at a super high level. Most entertainers cannot do the things she does daily. If you enjoy premium entertainment then choose to ride Whoopi because she’s fueled with premium energy.

Who else offers the special deal Whoopi serves? It’s always a treat seeing Whoopi perform on multiple outlets and platforms. Her sketch at the Oscars stole some of Chris Rock’s shine. The problem is that she outshines everybody.

The standup comedian will perform in Charleston this month. Her humor is one of a kind. Also, she tells rough jokes. In her words, “you know I’m rough.” That’s the way I like it. Tina Turner can verify this. “We’re gonna do the finish rough.”

If Ellen is the lightning of daytime talk then Whoopi brings the thunder. 

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Monday, May 16, 2016

Brace for Metallica’s Full Impact


Brace for full impact because Metallica delivers the total package. Who has a more devoted fan base than this heavy/ trash metal band? Without question, the Los Angeles based group embraces financial backers in the form of venture capitalists and groupies. Just like fans, Rock Stars come in all shapes and sizes but the truly great ones are standouts.

How do you explain the band’s longevity? Let’s talk about solvency and liquidity. These music guys have been in business longer than some of America’s biggest corporations. Plus Metallica maximizes its strengths and passes the STRESS test with flying colors.  
Metallica appeals to a variety of individuals. However, a hardcore demographic supports the band and makes it money. Are you a diehard fan? 

What are your favorite Metallica songs of all time? My top 5 are: 1. Until It Sleeps 2. The Unforgiven 3. One 4. Whiskey In the Jar and 5. Nothing Else Matters. Next question: do you know the lyrics by heart? 

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett had it all figured out in the early 1980s before we were born. Later, Robert Trujillo would join them and make a foursome on par with the Beatles. I believe Metallica is in Beatles territory.

You see they built their reputations brick by brick. The Rock Stars finely downloaded their images one pixel at a time. What is more, they knew when it was time to innovate. Metallica stuck it out together when others would have disbanded. Give extra credit to Hetfield for being a visionary.    

Metallica is the purest band in the business. Watching them perform is like seeing Captain America: Civil War again. Every guy is equipped with armor and knows their superpower. That’s why their concerts need the tightest security.

Brace for full impact as Metallica comes on stage.

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Friday, May 13, 2016

Captain America: Civil War Movie Review


The concept of merging all the superheroes into one movie is brilliant, but it could be executed better. There are some phenomenal scenes in Civil War. However, some scenes are easily forgettable.

I feel the actors are excellent. Moreover, producers should place more emphasis on Scarlett Johansson and Elizabeth Olsen. How does the writer determine who gets the best lines?

The face-offs and toe-to-toes are unbelievable. Chris Evans aka Captain America has a chance to end Iron Man, as we know him. All this occurs because a doctor wants to play games.

Chadwick Boseman makes a great appearance as Black Panther. He saves Scarlett Johansson’s ass (which is for the good of humanity). Everything happens too fast. That’s my biggest critique.

Slow it down a little and let the audience’s eyes focus on the target. Anthony Mackie livened it up as always. Plus, Jeremy Renner shined.

Who am I forgetting? Oh yeah, that guy Robert Downey Jr. The number 1 movie star does not disappoint as Iron Man. He has swagger. 

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Civil War is like seeing 10 Marvel movies at the same time. Also, Spider-Man appears in this edition of Captain America.

I believe the directors held back and they could have delivered more content. Maybe, they’re saving up for next time, which is an acceptable strategy. Did you see Avengers: Age Of Ultron? How does it compare to this?

Can you imagine them filming on the beach? Location. Location. Location. I like how the great white letters showcased the locations. Details can make or break a film of high caliber.

Also, remember to stay during the closing credits because there’s an extra scene packed in. You can’t complain about the ending. All loose ends get tied together. 

Overall, I give the movie a C+. Although it had a lot of style, it had just a little bit of substance. It was definitely entertaining though. 

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

How Ashton Kutcher Became Epic


We just started watching The Ranch on Netflix. One episode in… and I’m convinced this is going to be big. Ashton Kutcher aka Mila Kunis’ husband takes control of the show. I feel he (as executive producer/ lead actor) is the main reason The Ranch will succeed.

Whether this or That 70’s Show, aplusk brings unbelievable humor to the table. Plus he brings home the bacon. Everything the comedic actor does seems to turn epic.

Punk’d was a series of epic proportions. For a long time, you weren’t a true celebrity unless you got Punk’d. My days of watching MTV are gone but I still remember seeing this show along with MTV Cribs and Pimp My Ride.

I’m no longer in their target demographic- being in my late 20s. Can you believe Ashton Kutcher’s 38 now? He looks younger than that. But by the same token, he came a long way. Did you know Kutcher started acting in 1998? 

Photos By: Wikimedia Commons 
The more I read and write about Ashton, his legend increases. Think about it. He inherited Two & a Half Men along with the Steve Jobs movie. If you ask me, he’s as high profile as famous people come. What’s his secret?

Kutcher excels highly at a lot of things both big and small. They say the celebrity is a genius. No bullshit.

What is more, his brand of comedy can reach a wide audience. That’s why The Ranch will go down in TV history provided it’s given enough resources (no pun intended).

What Kevin Spacey is to House of Cards, Ashton Kutcher can be to The Ranch. I rarely binge watch TV because I like to ponder and absorb material. What do you do? Maybe, you will binge watch The Ranch after reading this article.

In closing, a proper education requires reading Homer’s epics The Iliad and The Odyssey. In our celebrity-obsessed generation, Ashton Kutcher is like Homer. By constantly producing valuable pieces, Ashton Kutcher became epic. 

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Monday, May 9, 2016

Why Ethan Hawke Is a Fave


Movies provide a means of escape. Moreover, Ethan Hawke is an escape artist. Like illusionist David Blaine, the movie star hasn’t lost the magic touch.

They say there’s no business like show business. The entertainment industry isn’t disappearing any time soon. There will always be a need for premium entertainers.

Ethan Hawke is one of my favorite actors. You see he delivers at the perfect time. Plus the actor knows how to adapt, react, and ‘proact.’

I like how low-key Ethan Hawke seems. His characters are the same way. I believe that’s why he’s noteworthy. Hawke looks shy but acts outgoing. His eyes are fixed on the big picture.


I could write a whole story on Gattaca alone. His chemistry with Uma Thurman was diabolical. Plus Ethan Hawke went above his pay grade for this film. He stays dedicated.

In a world of perfection, Hawke’s character (Vincent Freeman) was more than perfect. Gattaca proposes many important questions about genetic manipulations. Should society tinker with DNA? How far is too far?

Despite being born normal (invalid), Freeman exceeds limitations and challenges the system. He outperforms “perfect” people because his soul won’t give up. Many say Hawke should have won an Academy Award. I agree.
Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Training Day

Also, Training Day is another great Ethan Hawke movie starring Denzel Washington. This movie poses several ethical dilemmas too. How much power should police have? When does black become gray? When is wrong right?

Without question, Ethan Hawke transformed Training Day. He was the ideal supporting actor. Who could forget his epic confrontation with Alonzo played by Denzel Washington? Here’s a movie with fantastic and memorable scenes.

In summary, Ethan Hawke is a fave because of his star presence and supernatural talent. Although he isn’t arrogant, he isn’t a pushover. You see he’s cool. 

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Easy Like Lionel Richie


Lionel Richie creates masterpieces like Michelangelo sculpted. That’s why controversy arose when Adele made Hello. Up until that point, Lionel Richie’s name was associated with Hello because of his hit record by the same name. Right now Richie can joke about it with the English songstress.

Lionel Richie must continue preserving himself because that’s the key to his legendary greatness. His music keeps getting covered by artists all around the world. Clearly he has a universal sound.

The Sail On singer can still sell out concert seats if he wants to today. Lionel Richie is a brand name like LL Cool J. What is more, true to his name- he is rich with a net worth of approximately $200 million.

He spends much time having his trophies shined and polished. The man looks like a walking Grammy himself. If Grammys were designed with Sir Paul McCartney in mind, then they were also designed with Mr. Lionel Richie at heart.

You see Richie gets respect because he is elite. He dines with dignitaries. He sings before kings and queens at their palaces.

Plus, his hot daughter Nicole Richie has a lot going for her. The Richies are becoming one of the world’s most famous families. Miles and Sofia are building names for themselves too.

Imagine a day (preferably Sunday) in Lionel Richie’s life. If you spend Saturdays listening to Stevie Wonder, why not spend Sundays listening to Lionel Richie? Picture having no worries or cares and complete freedom.  It seems the Commodore has all these things and more.

You gotta be easy like Lionel Richie.

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Celebrating Salma Hayek


Today we celebrate Cinco de Mayo as well as Salma Hayek. The beautiful Mexican-American actress is underrated. No one could play Frida Kahlo better than Salma Hayek. Plus she is a natural wonder of Mexico and a national treasure of America.

Hollywood recruiters are looking for the next Everly. It’s extremely difficult finding a girl with all these qualities. Movies don’t ignore problems. They solve them.

You see Salma Hayek is a problem solver. Watching a scene from Salma is like seeing an engineer build a bridge. Imagine the actress working with Michelle Rodriguez and Penelope Cruz. Let’s spice it up some more and throw Zoe Saldana in the mix too.

Remember Salma shared the screen with Jessica Alba in Some Kind of Beautiful. You might want to celebrate Beautiful Asian Actresses as well. Also check out Guru Jay’s 19 Best Black and Latina Actresses

Show Love

The lovely Hayek creates lovely art. That’s why she’s a top Latin actor. Don’t you love that thick Hispanic accent? Sofia Vergara has a nice one too. And she’s such a sweet lady.

Obviously, Hayek has assets stacked in the islands because her husband’s a billionaire. She doesn’t have to act, but she does so out the kindness of her heart. Plus she’s passionate about all of her work off screen and on.

Without question, Salma is on the A list. The red carpet rolls out for her as soon as she steps foot out the door. Directors and producers give her the green light and wiggle room to create.

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Let’s celebrate Salma Hayek in everyway. Appreciate her gorgeous body (curves and all). Moreover, celebrate Salma Hayek’s career. She rises to all occasions including Cinco de Mayo.

From her days on the telenovela Teresa to Tale of Tales and beyond, Hayek has come a long way. She has never seemed hungry or thirsty while on her journey. Yet, she spoon-fed others by being herself, humble, and grateful. 

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!